Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without. – Buddha

Life can be truly hectic, even chaotic, if we don’t stop now and then to take a few minutes for ourselves. With the invention of computers and other technology, our work lives were supposed to get easier, but it’s gotten busier than ever before.

Now our world has become so fast paced that it’s hard to keep up. If you don’t stop the craziness of the day, you can begin to feel as if your life is spiraling into a crazy busy  jumble. Luckily, there are ways to deal with these overwhelming feelings and put some order back into your life.

Here are a few tips on how to turn your chaos around:

1.    Take a break. Give yourself a chance to take in everything going on around you. Even if your break is a nice hot bath instead of a shower, it can help. Find a little time here and there to get some peace and quiet while you reflect on the happenings of the day.

2.    Meditate. Meditation can be very helpful in bringing you peace. Meditation doesn’t mean sitting uncomfortably for a couple of hours. Instead, it’s a very comfortable and soothing way to calm your mind and bring you the balance you desire. With a little practice, anyone can meditate.

3.    Find the positive. No matter how chaotic things get, you can always try to find something good and positive in your situation. Actively look for the silver lining. It could be something as simple as a favorite song, a picture, or the smile of another person that gives you some inner peace. Look for these things and you will find them.

4.    Slow down. While we have to multitask almost constantly these days, doing so tends to wear us down even faster. Multi-tasking adds to the chaos around us. Take one thing at a time and allow yourself to focus on that task alone. While you may be able to handle three or more things at once, the quality won’t be nearly as good as if you focused on them one at a time.

5.    Don’t let anyone drag you down. Be wary when considering the opinions of others. Don’t ignore everyone, but don’t let yourself get bogged down with other people’s baggage and their issues, either.Remove your personal chaos causers, even if one of the causes is other people.

6.    Take out the drama. Eliminate the drama in your life, especially other people’s drama. It’s not your concern, so stay out of it and don’t get caught up in it. Focus on solving your concerns positively rather than enjoying pity parties. This will reduce the drama and turn your focus to something positive.

Everyone has some chaos in their life. It isn’t always a bad thing. Stress can be productive as well. In fact, without stress and responsibilities, some people would never get out of bed!

Life will always have stress and problems, but how you react to them can dictate the level of chaos in your life.

The first step is realizing that you need to make some time for yourself. If you don’t, nothing you do will really make that much of a difference. You can’t be there for everyone else if you aren’t taking care of yourself.

Use these tips every day to bring order to your life, and soon you’ll find peace and balance instead of chaos.

Picture Source: IStock Photos

Life is something that happens when you can’t get to sleep.  ~Fran Lebowitz

High stress can cause you to toss and turn all night. You wake up, check the clock, begin to think about all the things you need to do, how you are going to pay your bills and family problems. Anxiety sets in and before long your body feels wired but tired at the same time. The alarm rings and your too exhausted to face the day.  This might be a pattern a couple of times a night if you are anxious about how to solve your problems. There might be nights during the week you are not getting enough sleep due to worrying and mounting stress.

Other than counting sheep, here are some suggestions on how to get back to sleep:

Turn off the electronics. It might be tempting to turn on the television to catch a rerun or old flick but don’t do it.  Televisions, smart phones and computers, and will stimulate your brain and cause more sleeplessness. Another suggestion is to keep your bedroom dark and cool for the best rest.

Move to the living room. If you are awake for more than 15 minutes move to another room for a relaxing activity, such as reading. Keep the lights dim to keep a relaxing atmosphere. Bright lights will only keep you alert.
Time flies-when you’re not having fun. Resist looking at the clock over and over. Otherwise, you will become more agitated and anxious suggestion is to use your smart phone as a clock so the room remains dark at night. You may be less tempted keep checking the time.

Keep a sleep notebook. Keep track of sleep patterns with a notebook beside your bed. Write down anything important, such as amount of time you sleep, dreams or what is on your mind. Before you go to bed, write down anything you are worried about and promise to get back to it in the morning. You might be less tempted to worry over the same subject.

Unwind again. If you start to toss and turn, try a relaxation or deep breathing technique. Find a guided meditation to get calm again. Find music specifically made to aid in sleep. Relaxation will help rest the body so you can get more shuteye.

Sleep disturbances can be more that just difficulty sleeping. Insomnia and other sleep problems may be due to a medical condition. If changing sleep routines don’t work, check with your doctor for help. Do allow time for your sleep habit changes to work so you can restfully fall back asleep.

A goal is a dream with a deadline. Napoleon Hill

 Can you believe resolution goals were made more than three months ago? Maybe those goals need dusting off. Some may require tweaking and updating since January. Wherever your goal process might be, it’s important to check in to see where you are in reaching your desired target.

Setting goals is crucial so we have a path to get from point A to point B. Rechecking where you are on the path is an equally important process. Maybe your original ambitions were too challenging or your goal is no longer meaningful to you. It’s time to check in with your goals with a simple process you can use anytime to keep you on target for goal achievement:

Revisit Your Goals.  Revisit goals you have made this year. Maybe they are targets that you made several months ago but haven’t checked on lately for progress. Pick just one goal and revisit it. Ask yourself, “Where am I in accomplishing my dream?” “What steps can I take toward achieving this goal?” The most important thing to remember is not to judge, belittle or compare you to others when revisiting goals. It’s just a place you are on a particular path. You can only compare your progress

 Rethink What You Really Want. Rethink your goal. Is it something you still want to achieve? Does the goal need revised? Maybe going to the gym twice a day was an unrealistic goal. What will truly be a good starting point to achieve this goal? Rewrite the goal so it is achievable. Make sure your target challenges you in the process so you can remain motivated.

Rejuvenate Your Life. Now that you have crafted your new goal, jump start your desire  in a fresh and exciting way. Find someone who may have the same goal. Get support from someone who cheers you on and challenges you in a positive way. Maybe it’s choosing to work on your tasks at a different time of day. Mix it up and see what a difference a new approach can make in achieving your dream.

“If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.” Jim Rohn

Motivation is the fuel that allows us to spring out of bed and feel passionate about the day. Many people, however, find that get-up-and-go to move forward is missing. Your balance seems off kilter. You’ve made a goal to change something in your life and moved forward with all sorts of excitement. Something happens and your motivation just gives out. Your world just seems a little foggy.

There are two types of motivation, the kind that came from the inside and the other from outside themselves. Extrinsic motivations are outside forces that drive you to get something done. Outside motivation is fueled by dodging a consequence for not doing a task.  Intrinsic motivation however is fed by the fire that lives in your heart. Motivation within is what truly drives us across the finish line when finishing a plan.

Let’s talk about how to get a goal or plan finished:

1.  Why do you want it? Writing goals are very important. Goals are the stepping stones to getting where you are going. However, writing goals are not enough to keep your plan in motion. Maybe you have recently written a goal about weight loss. Write as many reasons as you can come up with for why you want to lose weight. Carry those reasons with you no matter where you go. Pull them out when you want to give up. See the moment that you made the goal in your mind. Feel the excitement all over again as you remember why you wrote the goal to begin with. And keep going.

2.  No more trying. Did you realize that the definition of try is to make an attempt or effort to do something? You find out pretty quickly that try is not a word I use if you are with me for any period of time. Try lacks commitment in getting something done. Get clear about your desire to achieve your plan and do it.

3. Just do it! There is no better way to get something done than to move. Our minds can come up with dozens of excuses or reasons think about moving forward with a plan. Remember a plan is never set in stone. You can course correct at any time during your action plan. Just avoid procrastination and its sister perfection.

What goal have you placed on the back burner? Comment below, move forward and make things happen!

It’s amazing how much stuff we try to cram into our daily lives and then wonder why we are mentally and physically exhausted.  If we make life complicated and fill it up with a bunch of  “stuff,” how can we ever focus on what matters most?

Many of us are running around trying to squeeze everything we can out of life when, in fact, we’d be a whole lot happier and healthier if we savored the beauty of simplicity!

Being a mom to 5 very active children, working with my husband in our office and having several online businesses, I can relate to the feeling of ‘exhaustion’ but I have found ways to simplify my life and want to share them with you.

Here are some tips that work for me and you can apply to your life as well:

• Clutter – When you eliminate the clutter around you, you’ll gain a deeper appreciation for the things are dearest to you.

* Ask yourself: When was the last time I read the stack of magazines piled up on the floor? When did I last notice the details on one of those little trinkets I got while on vacation? When did I last wear the hat that seems to now be collecting dust in my closet? Give this stuff to someone who needs it!

* De-cluttering will give you an opportunity to enjoy the things that truly matter to you. Plus you’ll feel a sense of relief with an organized working and living space.

• Food – Food is another aspect of your life that can be simplified in many ways. Instead of worrying about the next bite, enjoy the taste of the food that’s already in your mouth. Savor it, let it all sink in and try to taste each flavor. Mmmm, now isn’t that better?

* Consider the ingredients in your food. Take the time to use quality ingredients instead of processed or chemically enhanced foods. The end result will taste better, and your body and mind will thank you for the nourishment!

• Gadgets – I know what you’re thinking I can’t live without my gadgets, but think of all the gizmos and gadgets in your life. Do you use them all? Do you even use half of them?

* The more stuff we have to “connect” us, the more we become disconnected! Take the headphones out of your ears, turn off the car radio, and put down your cell phone. Instead of trying to be always connected, communicate with those around you. Nothing is more satisfying than a rewarding conversation with your child or spouse.  Try having a family night without the interruptions of cell phones – you’ll be amazed how much fun you will have.

• Thinking- A cluttered mind steers you away from what’s most important. The reality is that simple ideas are almost always better. By simplifying your thinking, you open your mind to new possibilities.

* A simplified mind doesn’t mean you aren’t thinking, it just means that you’re choosing to focus on one thing with greater clarity.

* When your attention is going in several directions, it’s awfully hard to make rational decisions. And if you’re dwelling in the past or worrying about the future, how can you live in the moment? Release distractions from your mind and you’ll not only feel better, but you’ll regain a sense of peace within you. Wow, can you feel the release?

• Schedule – If you’re trying to jam a week into just a few days, you’ll certainly feel tension.  The tension alone will distract you enough to take you away from where you were meant to be.  Instead of wondering what’s next, lie and enjoy the here and now.

* The most important I can share with you is to eliminate some of the clutter in your hectic schedule and do what’s best for you and your family. I can’t begin to explain how that has helped in our family.  You don’t have to have a large family to feel the strains of a schedule.  It’s important to let go and enjoy your time with your family.  Remember our children are only young once, and you will want to create loving memories that will last forever.

Living life simply is extremely rewarding.  It’s amazing how you will  appreciate all that is around you daily when you take the time to stop and enjoy it. Try it, you’ll see the difference and wonder what took you so long.

If you find yourself spinning in circle..I can help you get back on track…let’s chat —> Mentoring

If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.  ~Mary Engelbreit.

Change is certain. Time moves forward whether you are aware of it or not. What we see around us only appears to be a constant in our lives, but in fact there are changes happening every moment. Sometimes it’s too easy to get out of balance, focusing on the past and worrying about the future. Life can become pretty overwhelming when work, family and your personal life changes in a blink of an eye.

Change is a double-edged sword. You may want to make an improvement in your life but something stops you dead in your tracks. It’s called fear.  Fear can disguise itself in many ways, the biggest being a conflict to see or do things in a new way. The trick is to only choose one thing in your life that you would like to see different. Don’t overwhelm yourself with wanting to lose weight and quit smoking at the same time. It’s a recipe for disaster.

The key is that the desire to change far outweighs the need to continue the habit.

Change can happen in one of two ways. First you can make a decision to change a thought or behavior because something no longer works for you. This is when you begin to have signs that you can’t ignore that something different has to happen. The more you become aware of something you want to change, the easier the shift will be in your life.

The second reason you make a change is because you have to. In other words, you have only two choices; you change or know there are consequences about to happen if you don’t. Maybe you have a health concern and you know it’s best to shed a few pounds. Or, you are so stressed that you need to find ways to better balance your life. It’s when you have ignored or pressed through all the warning signs that something wasn’t working.

Learn to dance with change rather than resist it. Listen to that voice inside that calls to shift the way you do or look at something. Hold onto the desire to make a difference in your life. Reach out for support from others you trust. Design the life you want to live.

I’d love for you to share below one thing you’d love to change in your life today.

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. William James

Stress can become so overwhelming. It seems when you are in the middle of stressful times, more things happen to cause you angst. Routines that worked so well seem to go out the window. Your entire focus is how to control the stressful situations around you.  The fact of the matter is that chasing for that perfect balance causes a higher level of stress.

The hardest thing to do when you are stressed is to stop and take a look at the problems you are facing. The fear is losing control over everything in your hands. Stopping to take a breath in the midst of stressful times is the very best thing you can do for yourself. You give yourself the grace to see your problems in a different light.

Let’s talk about three thinking errors common to folks with high stress:

You Become Your Own Worst Enemy. Sometimes you don’t have to look very far for criticism on how you’re handing problems. Nitpicking thoughts can cloud your mind, such as, “I should have done it differently,” “I feel worthless.” Self-criticism can help keep us stuck in chronic stress mode.

What You Can Do: Ask yourself how you would treat your best friend experiencing stress-filled times. Would you listen and give them support? Would you comfort them with loving positive words? Turn and give yourself the love you give to others. Believe down deep in your soul that you deserve every ounce of love you can muster up.

You make decisions based on fear, not from reality. Fear is a very powerful emotion during stressful periods. And while fear may be a helpful emotion when dealing with a life-saving situation, it can block rational thought in making the best decisions during a rough patch. Personal survival becomes the focus instead of making decisions from a clear, rational mind.

What You Can Do: Find strategies to move fear out of your mind and into reality. Connect with a trustworthy source to talk about what you are most fearful of.Write down your fears on paper. This will help discern what is fear-based and what is reality-based.

You wish your life away. Some common thought patterns include “I wish it were Friday,” or “I wish (fill in the blank) wasn’t happening to me.”  We all have wished at some time to be anywhere but work or in the midst of a difficult situation. However, this thought process can be an escape pattern instead of coping with a stressful or unhappy situation at hand.  

What You Can Do: Write down a list of this you want. Pick just one thing you want more than anything to achieve.  Honestly see there you are at right now. Then write down your goal.

Avoiding these three common pitfalls can send you well on your way to reducing high stress levels and a happier life. 

“No” is a complete sentence.” ― Anne Lamott

Saying no can be difficult for a few reasons. For some, assertiveness can be a scary move. A common thought for someone working on assertiveness is “Why bother, I’m not going to get what I ask for anyway”, or “It’s so much easier to do it myself than to burden someone.”  Maybe confrontation sets you in a tailspin, and it seems much easier to keep everything to yourself.” However, you may be standing at a turning point in life.  You just agreed to do one more thing for someone else and find your life turned upside down, feel drained and truly would like to pull out your hair.

In the pit of your stomach, you know there is a better way.

Learning to say “no” is a vital skill in stress management. Committing yourself to extra projects is a common reason for saying yes to one more task is feeling guilty. Be clear about your priorities-the everyday activities are important in your life. For example, your priority may be spending time with your children in the evening. You may be less apt to commit to a long-term project that will consume several evenings per week.  Know the motivation or intent behind making the commitment. Be sure the decision is something you clearly want to do.

A great response to someone’s request is “My schedule is full right now but thank you.”  Most people will accept this response; however, there are those who will push your limits. Simply repeat the same response, as many times as needed. This requires a little staying power on your part. Remember you honor your, time, health and other previous obligations when you say “no.”

Another reason why people say yes instead of no is feeling selfish. When you get the next person asking you to help with a committee, do this one thing: open your calendar and look at the last week or two of your schedule. Count how many times you nurtured your needs versus the needs of others. Can you truly say you are a selfish person with your time? This is where looking at your tasks can really give a different view when feeling selfish.

The art of saying “no” takes practice. There may continue to be circumstances where you over obligate yourself. Be kind to yourself. Checking your intent, priorities and schedule will help you keep balance in your life.

“Maintain your physical, emotional, and spiritual harmony with the universe by meditating every day. Inhale the precious breath of life. It is your connection to your Higher Power.” ~Louise Hay

Meditation is a stress relief practice that can help balance and calm the mind. Practicing meditation can quiet your mind. The practice of meditation has a spiritual connection that is thousands of years old, but is becoming more widely used today for stress reduction.  You can add this practice throughout your day once you learn some basic techniques. It allows you just to spend a few moments in silence, away from the hustle and bustle of the world.

Annoying chatter in your head can keep you stressed. Your brain can get caught in reaction mode and keep you locked in a chronic stress response. A common response to stress is to go over and over a thought, thinking every angle and possible response to a stressful situation. The result is you are still stressed after the mind acrobats you just played out. In short, it’s as if you become addicted to the racing thoughts.

When you live in a chronic level of stress, your body is geared to think that there is a problem or that something is wrong. Yes, in reality there may be problems with money, job or family. Your body’s stress reaction is more intense, allowing your mind to create scenarios that just aren’t true. I call it the “What If” game. The next step is to figure out the way to fix the “What If” scenario, and so on.

So, what are some simple steps to add meditation in your day?

Get Comfortable. Be as relaxed as you can when getting ready for meditation. Sit upright in a comfortable chair and rest your hands in your lap. Allow your mind to be free, letting your thoughts pass through as air in and out of your body.  If a thought enters you mind, return to focusing on your breath. I use a technique that I concentrate on the air passing in and out of my nostrils. So as long as you can find a quiet place, you can meditate.

Time it. Start meditating for a short period of time, even as little as two minutes. Gradually add time as you can. The important idea is to make space for your mind to take a breather and stop the stress reaction.

Be Gentle with Yourself. Like anything new, meditation takes time to learn. If a stress thought comes up, allow it to pass through. Your mind may want to hang on to the stressful thought. Just return back to following your breath. There’s no contest or competition. Just be present in the moment and allow your mind to rest.

Finding time to breathe can take a mere 5 minutes. How is that possible? When you make time to breathe you are not only inhaling oxygen that your body obviously needs to survive but you are also removing and releasing stress. We all know that stress is something that can ruin your day, month and entire year; but with simply 5 minutes per day you, yes you can curb those thoughts and learn to avoid them completely.

Finding time to breathe is something that needs to be part of your daily routine. Now, don’t misunderstand this concept or think that its something that won’t work for you. Making the time to take a deep cleansing breathe will absolutely help you to think clearer and release the negativity you are housing within you. 

**Cleansing breath – inhale deeply through the nose and hold for a count of 10 then exhale slowly to a count of 10 and repeat.

This routine works hand in hand with managing your time. When you learn to manage your time, your stress level will be reduced because you will have more time to focus and will have more time to share with your family and friends.

Here are some ways to improve your time management:

• Make a list for the day – use as a guide only
• Schedule time for YOU – be sure to include on your list for the day, time for you, whether it’s 15 minutes or 60 minutes, allowing yourself some down-time will refresh your mind
• Keep a planner (whether paper or electronic) – many times we have more than our schedule to keep track of so instead of burning off brain cells trying to remember them all, write them down or plug into your electronic planner
• Delegate, delegate, delegate – never think you have to do it yourself and this includes the work place and in the home
• Don’t over commit yourself – something that is easier said than done, but learning to say ‘no’  will allow you to say ‘yes’ to what truly matters

Making time to breathe will help you handle stress.

How do you handle stressful situations? Breathing helps but did you know that keeping a stress journal, also works? Keeping notes of stressful situations and your reactions to them, you will help you identify your reactions.  When make note and identify your reactions to certain situations you will soon learn to control them and switch the reaction to positive ones. This entire process of writing, identifying and controlling your emotions will help enhance your entire well-being.

Learn to lean on your family and friends.  When you are cared for, loved, and valued your entire mental and physical attitude is affected. Sounds strange but it works.  Never think that you have to endure mental stressors alone, speaking about them and letting them out will enhance the healing process.

As you can tell finding time to breathe can take as little as 5 minutes. It actually takes a mere 5 minutes and sometimes less to assess a situation and determine if you will allow your mind take over and let the stress settle in.  It takes only 5 minutes or less to control your thoughts, emotions and to make a choice. Ultimately the decision is yours, however we all know that no one likes to be stressed.

Finding time to breathe will melt away your stress, what will you choose?

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