Not sure what is happening but if you ever ask God for guidance and true direction, you better be prepared!
I haven’t always been an extremely faithful person. Sure, I believed in God and actually was very angry with Him for many, many years.
It wasn’t until I was at my lowest of lows and had lost my mom to a horrible cancer..not that cancer isn’t horrible, but this one was one of the worse any individual should every endure. Seeing my mother suffer up to her very last breath, made me question of the actions of our Lord. That was not a wise thing to do. I know now, that we should never question the actions our God makes but at that moment in my life I was very, very weak!
The time has come again to be tested. I consider myself a faithful individual today. I speak to God daily, I worship Him every moment that I can, I attend worship service every week, use His teachings to teach our children and feel my faith in God has grown stronger and stronger.
So, why do I feel uneasy? He is working within me and I can feel it. He has made me vulnerable once again! There is no hiding behind the protective shield any longer.
I have shared my story with many of you and continue to do it in order to help others who may be experiencing the pain or may be reliving the pain of their past. This has helped to heal me and my hope is that it will help to heal you as well.
I am being tested. My faith is definitely being tested as well. At times it feels incredible, but at other times I feel drained. Am I doing what He asks of me? Am I doing it all for Him or myself? Those are very concerning questions and ones that I ask daily. I’m not sure what He has in store for me, but as His child I must obey and continue this path.
My friends are noticing, my family is noticing and I am noticing as well. The transformation continues. The tugging continues. The haziness that has surrounded my head for many years, decades even, is being lifted. Is it clearer now? I’d be lying if I said yes. However, the change is occurring. Just as the lyrics of Michael Jackson..’The Man in the Mirror’ … you must begin with the man in the mirror in order to make a change. The change must begin with me, in order to see a difference and I know that.
The educated side of my brain understands that, but the emotional side takes over at times, making it difficult to comprehend what must occur. So as I mentioned above, the testing continues and I am ready. Yes, as a faithful individual I know this is necessary.
Have you been tested? If you were to be tested today…would you be ready?