No matter how loving you as a parent may be, we can not avoid the sibling rivalry or can we?
As a parent of 5 children it is inevitable to have those moments where there is constant bickering. If you visit my home you will experience it first hand. However, we don’t let it get out of hand. We love each of our children equally and share that with them openly. Of course there is the ‘baby’ who has everyone wrapped around his little finger, but he is not exempt from consequences.
So how do you avoid sibling rivalry? Although there is no secret weapon in defeating this evil monster you can stop it from progressing. Another words it may present itself but you must not let it continue. If you treat each child equally and enhance each of their own talents, then the rivalry will not occur. Healthy competition is just that healthy and necessary to prepare them for the ‘real world’. However, competing in a negative manner should not be tolerated or accepted.
Remember, our children look up to us adults and as their role models. When we exhibit positive behavior, they will do the same. That’s not to say that we are perfect, because we all have our moments. But take those moments and use them as a learning experience. Don’t be ashamed to express to your child that you’ve made an error or exhibited poor judgment. Those are the moments that will be long lasting and the rivalry will melt away.
Most importantly– love your children equally, spend time with them individually if necessary. Quality time is essential when the child is feeling neglected. Take a walk, read a book, go out for ice cream, whatever you choose, make it special to that child and don’t forget to do the same for the others if you have more than one.
How do you deal with sibling rivalry? It was awful in my home while I was growing up and I was determined to not have it in my home when I had a family of my own. So far, it’s working. What’s working for you?
Dr. Daisy Sutherland is the Founder/CEO of Dr. Mommy Online. She is a doctor, author, speaker, social media strategist, brand ambassador, wife & mom to 5 children. Dr. Mommy's mission is to ~ Help Busy Women and Men with her 'Get Real' approach to living a happier and healthier lifestyle. Don't forget to grab your FREE gift...7 Simple Ways to Stay Motivated
Hmm… I’m not sure I agree 100% with you.
My question is, why do we believe that our kids are not supposed to fight, and that somehow it’s our fault and we should stop it from happening?
Definitely there are things that we, as parents, can do to make it much worse. But at a certain point, sibling rivalry is just part of what it means to have siblings.
I too wrote about siblings today, though from a different angle, in this post where I wonder if it’s possible (or even desirable) to raise siblings without rivalry.
I agree that some arguing or fighting is normal and even healthy but when it extends into pure envy, it is unhealthy. Believe me our household is very active and everyone has an opinion that they can freely express but full our fist to cuffs & envy is not tolerated. The parents spoiling one child over the other may bring up the rivalry just as well and something that may last a lifetime to resolve if ever. Thanks for reading and commenting:)