This post was inspired by a dear patient and friend who asked if the only way to relieve anxiety was medication or alcohol? Well, you can imagine all that was going through my head when she mentioned those two choices. The obvious answer to us is of course there are natural alternatives, however, when someone is feeling anxious many times they can think clearly and will reach for medication or alcohol. So, I promised to write this for her and for anyone else who is experiencing anxiety, stress and the total overwhelm of life itself.
Before we can come up with solutions let’s first determine the problems. Are you losing yourself in your relationships, in your nurturing roles, and in the busyness of life? Does it seem like your life has become a series of multitasking days and nights, rather than moments to enjoy? It’s very easy to get so caught up in the DOING that you forget to be YOU.
The first thing that usually goes in a whirlwind of activity is time. The lack of time often leads to feeling frustrated, tired, overwhelmed and out of balance. More importantly without time for you, you will tend to lose sight of what’s important to you and of what you need to be your best.
Here are some tips to help you take care of yourself, because ultimately when you take care of YOU, the anxiety and stress will be a thing of the past:
- To make life easier for yourself, consider developing a menu or plan for your weekly meals which may also include lunches for yourself and your children. If planning stresses you out, then prepare a week’s worth of lunches and freeze them; make up double quantities of foods like casseroles, soups, and hamburgers. Freeze half so you can have a night off cooking when you want to; find someone to mind your children on a regular basis so that you can have some time for yourself. Most importantly you must plan your day well – write lists of tasks you want to complete. It can be very satisfying crossing off jobs as they are done and don’t forget to celebrate each accomplishment no matter how small it may be.
- Plan a special treat with your significant other. Arrange for your children to spend time with a friend or relative while the two of you spend time together. Simple activities such as going to the movies, taking a walk together will help you relax while spending important time with the one you love. Try to spend a weekend away together occasionally. But most importantly if your children are grown and self-sufficient, stop being a co-dependent and have fun! You don’t have to stop loving and nurturing them but now it’s time for YOU to have fun with your partner. So what are you waiting for?
- Meet a friend for coffee. Join a craft group, choir, book club, sports group. Occasionally, do something totally different – go wind surfing, sky diving, horse riding. If you’re not a daredevil that’s fine, be sure to find time, because yes the time does exist to simply relax. If you have a ‘green thumb’ you can start a garden and watch the stress melt away.
- Organize a relaxing activity at home such as reading, a DIY spa treatment with aromatherapy candles, gardening or even just having a bubble bath with your favorite music on. Notice how I mentioned the aromatherapy? This can consist of candles, or infuser with essential oils such as lavender to help relax not only your mind but your body as well.
- Try to get outside at least once a day, walk the dog, sit under a tree and read. Exercise or activity which is a much better word to describe the same thing is necessary to relieve anxiety and stress. You don’t have to go to an extreme and join a gym, but if your daily activity leads to that next level, that’s wonderful! If you don’t want to be active, simply enjoy the outdoors sitting on your porch with a large glass of iced-tea! Doesn’t that sound relaxing? You will enjoy the fresh air, your body will thank you and your mind will be put at ease as well.
If you are feeling like life is out of control, that you are undervalued, that you are too busy, or if you put the needs of others consistently before your own, then it is time to create some time and space for yourself. Taking time for yourself allows you to renew, heal, and create energy and peace.
Honoring yourself enables you to discover your truth, access your creativity and experience a sense of peace, wholeness, purpose, and balance. After all, we only have one life to live, so live it to the fullest and remember to never devalue who you are! Say good-bye to anxiety and stress and say hello to the new YOU!
Dr. Daisy Sutherland is the Founder/CEO of Dr. Mommy Online. She is a doctor, author, mentor, speaker, wife & mom to 5 children. Dr. Mommy's mission is to ~ Help Busy Women and Men with her 'Get Real' approach to living a happier and healthier lifestyle. Watch for new book: 'Letting Go of Super Mom' coming out August 7, 2012.
Daisy, love these tips. My favorite is taking time for the special person in your life. So often we get so wrapped up in life that we forget to make quality time for our significant other.
Thanks Kim! And oh yes…we must remember that we have people in our own home that require our attention & love, especially our significant other
What a great post Daisy! You hit the nail on the head many times here. Recently I starting a D.E.A.R (Drop everything and Read) hour in my house for the entire family and it is such a great way to just push the pause button on life and relax.
Great stuff here!
Thanks Ms. Aurelia! It’s so sad to see folks turn to alcohol or drugs when there are many natural alternatives available:)
All of your points are very helpful–and will create a lifestyle with less drama and chaos. One solution for quick relief in the midst of an anxious moment is Lavender Essential Oil! It’s amazing how quickly a whiff will calm my racing heart or ease my kids temper tantrums.
Hi Elise! Thanks for stopping by and commenting and yes…we love our essential oils and actually mention in the post too…Lavender is excellent for melting away the anxiety and stress:)
Thanks for this Daisy! Good tips to remember and the reminder to enjoy more and savor the time is important. There will always be ‘stuff’ to do – but making time to breathe is so important, and breathing for me is my faith, play time with my son and being out with the animals and in the yard. Unfortunately the ‘gotta get it done’ trips me up…I will be trying some of these things you suggest. Bright blessings, Shanyn
Hi Shanyn, Thanks for stopping by and your kind words:) Too often we get caught up in the ‘stuff’ and forget to enjoy the things and people around us. Remember to have fun!!
Isnt if funny how simple things like your tips really are? Why is it that as moms we often choose to sit in our anxiety rather than take simple steps like these to ease the stress!
Life is hard, but we don’t need to be Super Heroes (Heroines) about it all the time. I really enjoyed your post, and wish I would have read it about 10 years ago when I was in the thick of stress!
Hi Annie! Thanks for stopping by and yes, it’s truly amazing how we tend to forget the little things we can do to avoid anxiety and stress
These are great tips. I love the idea of getting outside! I honestly become claustrophobic and out of sorts when I’m inside too much. Getting a pretty patio set was an investment in my sanity!
Thanks Gina!! Oh yes, going outside is essential to our health and sanity:) Now if it would only cool down a bit…we wouldn’t feel like we were melting, lol
Hi Daisy, that was lovely advice and while most of it is just common sense,
sometimes when we get so wrapped in everything, we forget take that break or eat properly and that starts a terrible spiral. Going for a walk once or twice a day is so important. I like to do my work in the morning and then walk after lunch then repeat with an evening walk if possible. Kids need a ton of exercise,
walking really helps so much. Having a friend to share your troubles and let you vent is really helpful too! Thanks for sharing.
Hi Tina! Thanks for visiting and commenting and yes…it’s amazing how common sense is forgotten. Too often life is approached in a difficult manner when it’s truly not that difficult at all:)
Good article, Daisy! When we are feeling off with things like anxiety it is our inner guidance system telling us that something is wrong. Love your advice, it is right on! => “…it is time to create some time and space for yourself. Taking time for yourself allows you to renew, heal, and create energy and peace. Honoring yourself enables you to discover your truth, access your creativity and experience a sense of peace, wholeness, purpose, and balance.” I appreciate this reminder because even as an Emotional Wellness Coach we get caught up in life sometimes too. Hugs!
Thanks Shileen…oh yes…we of all people tend to neglect and forget that we must take time for ourselves:) Hugs backatcha!
Good ideas, all of these. Especially putting our #1 in the #1 position and making time for them. It gets too easy to take them for granted when we get too busy. I know I am always happier and less stressed when I remember to put me and those most important to me before all the “stuff.”
Hi Marie! Thanks for stopping by and yes…putting our #1 first always makes our lives a bit easier
In my business (of working with women and their money issues), I tell the story of having lost everything about ten years ago. Needless to say, that was anxiety on steroids! I had to learn a bunch of coping mechanisms, but one that I call on often even today relates to your last recommendation, of getting out of the house. But I don’t have to go far; I just have to go sit quietly in the sunshine (I live in Florida), look at something that’s in bloom, marvel at some tiny piece of nature … and the anxiety seems to fade instantly. Works every time, Daisy!
Hi Sharon!! It’s amazing what a change of scenery and fresh air will do for our stress levels
Thanks for stopping by!