Helping Your Teen to Set Good Goals

Goal setting is an important key life skill that all people must learn. The teen years are a good time to get a lot of practice with the guidance of parents being readily available. Being able to set  good goals will build self-esteem, create a positive future, reduce unhealthy habits,  improve grades, grow time management skills, as well as help your teen gain all important independence.

You can help your teen set good goals (and help them realize success in meeting those goals) just by being a good example demonstrating good goal setting practices. If you aren’t sure how to do this, the following is an overview of setting good goals and meeting those goals.

Define the goal — It is important to define the goals that you want to reach. A wish is not a goal, but a wish or a dream can become a goal. It is best to use pen and paper or computer and keyboard to actually record the goal that you want to meet. Write down very specifically what the goal is. Don’t just say “I want to go to college” instead, have your teen write down exactly which college he or she wants to attend, in what degree program, and why. If your teen does not know why he or she wants to do something, perhaps more research is in order.

Brainstorm the goal — Before you write down the goal, it’s important to brainstorm the goal that you may want to work toward. It’s hard to be specific about a goal if you don’t know anything about it. Additionally, if a goal is not realistic, pursing it will cause frustration and feelings of failure. It’s important not to sell yourself, or your teen short by making goals too easy, but do make them actually possible.

Don’t blow smoke — During brainstorming the goal you and your child may need to have honest discussions about resources. If you’re uneducated about the particular goal, go to the library or do Internet research to learn all that you can about the goal that your teenager has in mind. Consider costs, resources, and whether you and the child are up to actually following through what is needed. 

Be specific — Using the college example, if the goal is to get into a particular University find out from the University website exactly what the criteria for acceptance is. Determine by looking at the criteria if entrance is possible for your child. Determine specifically how to make it happen. Then write down the steps toward reaching the goal. It can help to start from the end date, and work backwards toward today when creating the steps.

Be realistic — Consider all factors, including time, money, and whether it’s realistic to work toward such a goal. For instance, if a child typically scores average or below average on a standardized test, yet scores well in terms of grades, it may be a good idea to create a goal to attend a school that does not require standardized tests but instead uses other criteria to award entrance (and scholarships if money is an issue).

By following these tips to creating good goals with your teen, you can then follow up with ensuring that the goals are realized by checking in and monitoring whether the stated steps are being followed and adjust as needed, depending on individual circumstances. Goals are not set in stone, but rather are like a roadmap used to get to a particular destination, and the route can vary depending on the many factors involved in planning the trip.

About Aurelia Williams  (2 Posts)

Aurelia Williams is a Certified Life Coach, Parenting Expert, Internet Marketer and Podcaster. Aurelia is passionate about helping women and is always looking for ways to lend a supportive hand to others in order to make their lives a little less hectic and a lot more enjoyable. She is the owner of Parenting My Teen which is a resource site and podcast. Her site is jammed packed with anything you as a parent of a teen are dealing with on a daily basis. She offers a fresh perspective on the parent-teen relationship and also offers wonderful tools, resources and advice.

You'll Like These too!