You’ve probably experienced this or have observed it to the point where you are speechless. What am I talking about? The times we as parents may lose our cool, yell or reprimand our children or perhaps worse, totally ignore their actions. Quite often the child is ridiculed when the entire emphasis should be put on the action not the child.
We must focus on the actions and teach our children which are acceptable and which are not. That must be the first lesson. The second lesson will be the one of reminding and training. Unfortunately they will not learn from the moment you tell them. They must be reminded just as anyone one when they are being trained correctly. Then and only then, will we focus on the actions and be certain that the actions are acceptable. The child will soon understand if taught correctly and consistently which behavior is acceptable. Of course this will not guarantee that they will follow the rules, since again, we all break rules. The important factor in that scenario is the consistency followed by consequences.
All too often we will ignore the action or not follow through with a consequence. This confuses the child to the point where they will continue the action since there are no consequences attached. Our role as parents is to prepare them for adulthood. This preparation includes boundaries, communication/lessons, consistency and consequences. Consequences may be the most important of all. We all learn from consequences and instilling them into our family rules is essential. It’s amazing how much tolerance there is in the world today and tolerance to bad actions should not be one of them.
So, it is very important to love the child, teach them and nurture them. Don’t love the actions or tolerate them. Remember discipline is love.
Dr. Daisy Sutherland is the Founder/CEO of Dr. Mommy Online. She is a doctor, author, mentor, speaker, wife & mom to 5 children. Dr. Mommy's mission is to ~ Help Busy Women and Men with her 'Get Real' approach to living a happier and healthier lifestyle. Watch for new book: 'Letting Go of Super Mom' coming out August 7, 2012.
And this lesson will be taught over and over again until they are into adulthood (from experience)! Great post!
This is so so SO true! I love this post. This is such an important lesson for parents to learn EARLY.
Definitely retweeting this!