Say Goodbye to Sergeant Mom and Hello to Inspired Action

Do you feel as if you’re always ordering your children what to do always telling, telling, telling and sometimes yelling? You’re not alone. Most of us have been there and know it’s not the place we want to be as parents. The last thing you need to do is feel bad. It’s what many of us experienced as children growing up, especially if we had an authoritarian styled parent for a father, mother or both. One thing is certain, if we’re always telling our children what to do, they will never know what to do on their own.  And worse, they will pass inherit this style of parenting and teach it to their children.  If a change in parenting style isn’t made children will grow up and transition into adulthood always waiting to be told what to do next. You can see how this can have significant impact whether or not a child will achieve a successful life or plateau and life an average life of mediocrity.

“Obstacles and problems are a part of life. True happiness comes not when we get rid of all our problems, but when we change our relationship to them, when we see our problems as a potential source of awakening, opportunities to practice patience, and to learn.” –Chad Schapiro

If you have older children I’m sure you know first-hand that children don’t like to be told what to do. So let’s get you started on setting up a system that supports both the parents and children to live in harmony, be productive and happy. (Special note: As you read and apply the steps suggested here always be sure your child is safe and well taken care of. Never neglect the basic needs of the child and always take into consideration their age and ability level.)

Step 1. Pause and observe by breaking the habit of always telling the children what to do. Let go of the need to “make” them do what they “should” be doing. At first it may be difficult to step outside of your zone of what’s familiar to you. Just remember to catch yourself when you feel the urge to tell them what to do by consciously let go and just allow. Life is messy and sometimes you have to allow the home to become untidy in order for little ones to learn to appreciate tidiness. If your home is always spick and span, how can one develop an appreciation of a clean home if they don’t experience messy from time to time? Become the observer. Give yourself the time and the space to relax, enjoy and feel good about life no matter how disorderly it may be. You will learn a lot about your children as well as yourself by becoming the observer. It takes time for old habits to give way to new ones. Be forgiving and patient. As you change so will your children.

About Donna Vail (27 Posts)

Donna Vail is an education-parenting specialist, coach, mompreneur, homeschooling mother of six children, author and founder of An Inspired Education. She helps families create a lifestyle of true freedom by balancing education, work and life through self-education, entrepreneurship and inspiration. She is a highly sought after consultant for her successful guidance and resources that enable parents to let go of traditional parenting and education models, creating a lifestyle of learning where the whole family flourishes. Donna consults families around the world who all repeatedly express their restored confidence in homeschooling, parenting and personal development. In 1995 when homeschooling was little known to the masses, Donna traded in her daily commute to the office, to work from home and homeschool her children. For the last 17 years, she has successfully homeschooled her children and now through her writing, speaking, workshops, special programs and private consults coaches parents around the world to success in their homeschools. Her passion for education excellence has her constantly researching and developing new ways to support and nurture children. She lives an Inspired Education with her husband and children in Plano, Texas. Connect with Donna and access her wealth of resources at her website: An Inspired Education.

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