One thing to keep in mind is that stress has no age limit. Stress can affect adults but it’s not limited to adults, children experience stress as well. Although they experience stress, their symptoms may not be as apparent as adult’s symptoms. Because the symptoms are not as apparent, it’s important to watch for the common signs of stress in your children. It’s important to be aware that children suffer from stress and this awareness will help you spot the stress before it builds and causes other problems.
Here are some of the symptoms that may be apparent in children who are experiencing stress:
Sudden Aggression: Many stressed-out children begin to act out in ways that are uncharacteristic for them and are aggressive in nature. Some signs of aggression may include and are not limited to kicking, biting, hitting, and throwing of objects.
Meltdowns– Many children who are under stress don’t understand the feelings they are experiencing and will suddenly experience “meltdowns” over situations that are small in nature. These meltdowns result from the build up of stress within their bodies. Again they don’t quite understand what is happening and their little bodies will react to the stress as an explosion of sorts. It is important to be aware of the unexplained angry outbursts in your children.
Lethargic Behavior – Children can become depressed when they are overrun with stress and one of the common signs of this is a lack of energy, or lethargic behavior. All too often children may want to be involved in many activities in school and out of school. Many times the parents will place their children in extra-curricular activities which can literally drain the child. The child will then elicit signs of lethargy because they are truly tired and stressed. It may look like depression at first which is often mistaken for the signs of stress.
Developmental Setbacks – If a child is stressed out, and is still young, you may notice that he or she is adopting habits that have long since been broken. For example, it’s not uncommon for young children under stress to resort back to thumb sucking, bed wetting and unable to stay in their beds at night.
What Causes Stress in Children?
There are many things that can cause stress in children. Although they may not seem important to adults, it is a huge deal to the children so its important not to dismiss their feelings. Some of the causes include a change in family dynamics such as parents who are going through a divorce, constant fighting between parents and siblings, loss of a family member, loss of a family pet or tension in the home. Other stressors for children include issues at school such as teachers, class difficulty, bullies, homework and much more.
How You Can Help:
There are several things that you can do to help your child cope with the amount of stress he or she is under.
Try to Understand – The worst thing you can do is listen to your child and then make a quick judgment of the situation. Don’t do this because it can cause your child to feel foolish and to hide his or her feelings from you. Listen to what he or she is saying and then try to look at it from his or her point of view. Try to remember back to your childhood and base your response around that viewpoint.
Don’t Dismiss It – When your child shares their feelings with you, don’t dismiss them. Instead, let your child know that it’s okay to feel that way and that you’re always there for them. While you may think your child is over-reacting about something, their feelings are still important and very real.
Identify Stressors – While your child is experiencing the physical and emotional symptoms of stress, they may not connect the two (stress and their symptoms). Therefore, help your child identify the stressors in his or her life and show him or her how those stressors can cause the symptoms they are currently experiencing.
Most importantly make your child aware that your home and you are a safe zone. Children who are experiencing stress simply need a place to unwind and be themselves. Too often they will place the stress on themselves because they think they must behave or be someone they are not. The stressors they experience are not much different than the ones adults suffer from. Being aware of the signs and symptoms will help you, the adult catch them early on and address the issues.
Dr. Daisy Sutherland is the Founder/CEO of Dr. Mommy Online. She is a doctor, author, mentor, speaker, wife & mom to 5 children. Dr. Mommy's mission is to ~ Help Busy Women and Men with her 'Get Real' approach to living a happier and healthier lifestyle. Watch for new book: 'Letting Go of Super Mom' coming out August 7, 2012.
We generally think of childhood as carefree, happy go lucky, free spirited and fun. To think of the stress kids can experience is alarming…I felt it as a child for sure and it set a pattern in my life for stress responses that I still battle at age 44. We must be more aware and not dismiss the impacts of stress on these young lives any more than on our own!
You are so right Carl…childhood should be a time of fun and living life to the fullest without a care in the world..however our society today is influencing our children to the point of creating stress in younger and younger children. As parents we must not be blind to this …its important to protect their innocence and allow them to be children:)
A great article. Stress does affect children – one of the biggest stress they have to deal with is the hurry syndrome – they live in a fast world. I truly sympathize with the kids having to deal with grown-up issues. It’s NOT the way it was supposed to be, but it’s the world we live in today….
Great job, Dr Daisy! x0x
Norma Doiron@Health, Wellness & Weight Loss
Hi Norma! It’s sad to see our children stressed…I witnessed first hand many children showing signs and symptoms of stress and teaching parents how to be aware of them…We as parents must take action and not allow society to dictate our lives and that of our children…our health depends on it:)
I completely see that in my own kids. It’s nice to have some tools in the pocket to know how to cope when those situations pop up. thank you for the wisdom!
Thanks Lisa for stopping by:) Hope the tips shared here help..
Great tips, Dr. Daisy. With one starting high school this year, we have a whole new set of stressors to watch for. I always try and give my kids that decompression and listening time when they get home to let it all out. I think the “safe place” makes a huge difference for them and they need one both physically & emotionally. Thanks for another insightful post to share.
Thanks Marie! Oh yes, our children have it much rougher than we ever did and the ‘safe place’ is important for their well being and our sanity:)
Great information… children pick up a lot of stress from people around them, especially from their parents, it all starts at home… Thanks for posting this article!
Hi Solvita! Thanks for stopping by and yes…children can definitely sense when parents are stressed and will elicit the same signs and symptoms…
Dr. Sutherland, I worked in child protection for 15 years and its only been the last few years that stress in children has even been spoken of here in NB Canada. Its comforting to know that women like you are bringing this knowledge to the forefront. Thank you.
Thanks Anita for stopping by and for your kind words:) Its unfortunate that more people are not aware of the stresses are children experience…so glad you found the information helpful:)
I discovered that my daughter (who is now grown) would “feed off of” my emotions. The more stressed out I was, the more I felt overwhelmed and couldn’t possibly take on another thing- that is when my daughter would act out and damn near push me over the edge. She was merely being a mirror for me.
I found out that the more I worked on myself and dealt with all of the crap that was going on at the time, the more she would return to her amazingly sweet self. So my advice to new parents is if your child is misbehaving, first look at what you are feeling and what is going on with you.
Hi Kelly! Thanks for sharing your story…it is so true that our children will feel our stress and act out as a result. My advise has always been that if your child is misbehaving you must first look at the source, hence look in the mirror…it all begins in the home
Thank you SO much for this article. Sometimes it’s too easy to dismiss stress in our kids…especially when we are pushing through our own adult stressors. Right now we mid-move with a lot of uncertainty in the mix (due to various agencies and money issues) and I know our kids are feeling the stress. (Meltdowns galore!) On top of that both our little ones ( ages 4 and 5) are starting a regular school/preschool program for the very first time. We’re reminding ourselves to keep our routine as normal as we possibly can–I think this can reassure our kids. And I love your reminder to talk with them–even little ones need to voice their frustrations and fears.
Thanks again for a really great article!
~Elise from http://adamsorganizing.com
Awww..thank you Elise for your kind words!! It is important to try to control our own stresses because it does pass down to our children…and letting them share their feelings will make them feel so much better
Thanks for stopping by! 
I have seen stress in children show up as bad behavior, health problems, and self esteem issues. Thanks for educating parents on the importance of recognizing thaat stress does affect our children, and the importance of creating that safe secure haven.
Hi Beau! Thanks for stopping by and commenting…its important for parents to be aware of the signs and symptoms of stress and not automatically assume that their child is simply misbehaving..there’s always an underlying reason for such behaviors…