Stress in Relationships— 6 Steps Smart Women Take!

couple fighting

Dealing with stress in relationships is often frustrating and difficult. Whether you’re dealing with a spouse, significant other, child, family member, co-worker or friend, we sometimes don’t understand or grasp how to avoid further problems and attitudes. Sometimes, we get it all wrong and make matters worse.

There are some steps that we all can take when coping with stress in relationships and reducing the stress that naturally comes with those dilemmas. Here are just a few:

  1. Identify the problem. You can’t solve a problem if you don’t know the particulars. What type of trouble, very specifically, are you experiencing in a troubled relationship? When you answer that question, you can begin to work on it in a positive way.
  2. Avoid the water-boarding effect. Some people experience a “water-boarding” effect within their relationships. That occurs when constant arguments, physical or emotional abuse, criticism or other problems are experienced – not on a daily basis, perhaps – but are constantly on your mind and wreak havoc with your emotions. Avoiding the issues will only continue to bring stress into your life, so it’s imperative that you address these problems either with the other person or with a relationship expert.
  3.  Stop second-guessing. You can’t read minds – and neither can anyone else. Don’t try to second-guess what’s going wrong in your relationship and causing stress. Blaming yourself or the other person exclusively isn’t productive – nor is it likely to be true. It’s imperative that you address specific actions or words that are causing the problems and then work on solving them.
  4. Identify external negative forces. Are finances, work, other relationships, dishonesty or deception causing problems in an important relationship? Think about this carefully and if possible, discuss it with the other person. It may be possible for the two of you to find solutions by talking it out or seeking outside help.
  5. Take control of yourself. You can’t make a person love you, care for you, treat you with respect or anything else you may desire. You can only control how you react to these problems. Don’t keep beating your head against a wall – realize that you and only you are in control of your life.
  6. Get help. There is so much help for troubled relationships in the form of books, life coaches, counselors, religious institutions and even online help. Seek help to solve the problems and reduce the stress in your relationship. Sometimes we lose our balance and perspective, we can’t see the forest for the trees and may need a boost to our thinking powers. There is help available. Get the help you need!

Whittling away at the problems that lurk in a relationship will likely produce results. But, if nothing seems to work and you’re in an abusive relationship or one that’s causing such stress that it’s affecting you both physically and mentally, concentrate instead on becoming the person you want to be. There’s a beautiful person that lies within you that the universe is waiting to meet!

About Darlene Josaphe (16 Posts)

Darlene is an economist, lawyer, author, publisher, consultant, mentor, internet marketer, and an aromatherapy and natural health enthusiast. She is passionate about helping women simplify their lives, beat stress, regain balance, and find joy, happiness & inner peace. She enjoys walking, gardening, baking, backyard camping, volunteering and Bible study.


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Discussion

  1. 1
    Wade Balsdon says:

    Great post Darlene. In my experience, most of the squabbling between spouses can be attributed to external forces. Learn to manage those and your relationship will improve significantly.

  2. 2
    Darlene says:

    Thanks for the positive feedback Wade. I agree with you 100%. If spouses learn to manage ( read: minimize) interference from external forces ( such as in-laws, work, finances, well meaning friends, etc), their relationship stress scores may plummet. Minimizing external forces and improving communication with each other are vitally important for combating stress in relationships.

  3. 3

    Nice post Darlene. Stress can be a real deal breaker in a relationship. Couples need to address the cause of the stress and deal with it immediately. Stress should never be allowed to destroy a relationship.

    • 3.1
      Darlene says:

      Hi Neil, Thanks for stopping by and for sharing your comments. It’s sad and unfortunate, but its true. Unchecked stress can wreak havoc in a relationship. The best anti-dote is to identify the source(s) of stress in the relationship as soon as possible and then deal with it immediately. Work ( or lack thereof) and financial woes are often major sources of stress for couples. But talking things out and working on practical solutions together can actually make a relationship stronger. Stress does NOT have to be a deal breaker in a relationship. It’s up to the individuals to stop that from happening.