Dealing with stress in relationships is often frustrating and difficult. Whether you’re dealing with a spouse, significant other, child, family member, co-worker or friend, we sometimes don’t understand or grasp how to avoid further problems and attitudes. Sometimes, we get it all wrong and make matters worse.
There are some steps that we all can take when coping with stress in relationships and reducing the stress that naturally comes with those dilemmas. Here are just a few:
- Identify the problem. You can’t solve a problem if you don’t know the particulars. What type of trouble, very specifically, are you experiencing in a troubled relationship? When you answer that question, you can begin to work on it in a positive way.
- Avoid the water-boarding effect. Some people experience a “water-boarding” effect within their relationships. That occurs when constant arguments, physical or emotional abuse, criticism or other problems are experienced – not on a daily basis, perhaps – but are constantly on your mind and wreak havoc with your emotions. Avoiding the issues will only continue to bring stress into your life, so it’s imperative that you address these problems either with the other person or with a relationship expert.
- Stop second-guessing. You can’t read minds – and neither can anyone else. Don’t try to second-guess what’s going wrong in your relationship and causing stress. Blaming yourself or the other person exclusively isn’t productive – nor is it likely to be true. It’s imperative that you address specific actions or words that are causing the problems and then work on solving them.
- Identify external negative forces. Are finances, work, other relationships, dishonesty or deception causing problems in an important relationship? Think about this carefully and if possible, discuss it with the other person. It may be possible for the two of you to find solutions by talking it out or seeking outside help.
- Take control of yourself. You can’t make a person love you, care for you, treat you with respect or anything else you may desire. You can only control how you react to these problems. Don’t keep beating your head against a wall – realize that you and only you are in control of your life.
- Get help. There is so much help for troubled relationships in the form of books, life coaches, counselors, religious institutions and even online help. Seek help to solve the problems and reduce the stress in your relationship. Sometimes we lose our balance and perspective, we can’t see the forest for the trees and may need a boost to our thinking powers. There is help available. Get the help you need!
Whittling away at the problems that lurk in a relationship will likely produce results. But, if nothing seems to work and you’re in an abusive relationship or one that’s causing such stress that it’s affecting you both physically and mentally, concentrate instead on becoming the person you want to be. There’s a beautiful person that lies within you that the universe is waiting to meet!